Facts speak louder than statistics

Monday, 31 March 2014

Left vs. Right: Faith And Standards 2014.

Unbelievable Left: Your religion is outdated nonsense and your standards and manners are old fashioned, this is 2014 after all.

Believably Right: What does the year that it currently is have to do with anything?

Unbelievable Left: Everything! This is 2014 after all, this is the modern world, religion is outdated and your manners are old fashioned and no longer have a place. You conservatives have got to accept that like we on the left have.

Believably Right: Not all conservatives are religious and not all left wingers are atheists. And how does it being the year 2014 somehow oblige me to behave in this so called modern way of yours and drop my faith and good manners?

Unbelievable Left: It’s old fashioned and has no place in the modern world. You don’t want your god questioned and that’s wrong and saying your god created the world is nonsense, the science is settled after all! You can’t question the science, it’s 2014!!

Believably Right: You can ask questions about my faith and I’ll certainly question your science and other things you say, after all that is how people learn. In fact I do have a question for you, it’s about this little speech of yours about it being 2014 and how there’s no place for religion and good manners etc. in this modern world of yours. Will you be making the same speech to the people who come here from certain third world countries with very aggressive religious practices and somewhat barbaric standards?

**crickets chirping**

Wednesday, 26 March 2014

Left vs. Right: Segregated Terms.

Forward Right: They are being racist towards us.

Backwards Left: No, we are the racists, it’s always been that way!

Forward Right: Oh, so no white person has ever been discriminated against?

Backwards Left: Well I will admit there has been some reverse racism, occasionally.

Forward Right: You’ll only occasionally admit it? Anyway since you don’t understand the real meaning of racism here’s a quick definition, it's discrimination against someone based on their ethnicity, their racial background. It doesn’t matter what race the perpetrator is and what race the victim is, discrimination based on race is racism.

Backwards Left: When it’s towards whites it’s reverse racism.

Forward Right: So whites are so special even the term for discriminating against them is segregated from the others?

Backwards Left: No, that’s not what I meant, you racist, uummmm you reverse racist? Something racial. Racism against whites is reverse racism!

Forward Right: So then what is it if a Nigerian is racist against a Pakistani? 1st gear racism?? If a Pakistani is racist against a Filipino is that 2nd gear racism? I suppose if a Filipino is racist towards someone Japanese it’s cruise control racism!

Backwards Left: You racist!

Forward Right: You really need to learn what that word means!

Left vs. Right: Who's To Say Who Comes Here? We Are.

Bleating Left: No one is illegal.

Always Right: Yes they are, if they don’t come through the proper channels they are here illegally.

Bleating Left: Says who?

Always Right: We do, we’re the ones running the country so we are the ones who can say people are here illegally.

Bleating Left: We’re here illegally!

Always Right: You just said no one is here is illegal therefore we aren't illegal. Since we are here and we are the ones running the place we get to decide on who can and can't come here. Even if we use your approach and say no one here is illegal we can divert the country shoppers if we want and stop them making it here to ‘not be illegal!’ Our country, our call.

Bleating Left: You racist!

Always Right: You traitor, go and play good Samaritan with your own money if you want those fuzzy feel good moments.

Bleating Left: We have to spend taxpayers’ money to help them!

Always Right: Become a taxpayer first. Meanwhile your way does not help, it just spreads the problems around.

Bleating Left: No! You’re a racist!!

Always Right: No, I’m taking my country back! You have no right to sell us out and try and give it away, that’s what’s really illegal. You traitor!

Wednesday, 19 March 2014

Left vs. Right: Who Will You Turn To?

Left Turn Only: (At the end of a speech) …………. and in closing Tony Abbott is a misogynist racist and the current environmental problems we are experiencing are all his fault because he is a racist who wants to abolish the carbon tax and also because of his racist environmental policy! And that’s because he is a racist! (Loud cheering)

Turning Right: So how is he a racist? (Cheering stops, you could hear a pin drop!)

Left Turn Only: Because of his environmental policy! His racism is putting the world in danger.

Turning Right: But he doesn’t really have a policy except to get rid of the environmental stuff the Greens and ALP put through. The carbon tax hasn’t even been abolished yet but you say the fact he wants to repeal it is causing problems. How can a tax change the environment and how can an environmental policy be racist anyway?

Left Turn Only: Because he is racist the sea levels will rise by so many metres that the Pacific islands will go under water! And because of that they will drown because Abbott is not accepting refugees!!

Turning Right: From what I can tell he’s not accepting country shoppers. I’ve seen real refugees, they are impoverished people with nothing and Pacific islanders would be real refugees but these boat people on the other hand come with video recorders and designer handbags and ask for cosmetic surgery……….

Left Turn Only: (Interrupting) Stop supporting Abbott’s misogynistic racism!

Turning Right: Fine, so how is he sexist?

Left Turn Only: Because of how he’s racist and was always sexist to Gillard!

Turning Right: But that was a policy thing, he talked the same way to Rudd and others as well because the Greens and ALP were making a mess of it.

Left Turn Only: Do not question the agenda of our leaders OK, looks can be deceiving as to what they are really doing!

Turning Right: You mean what they’re really been doing is looting the nation for their own benefit instead of even trying to keep their promises?

Left Turn Only: Enough! Abbott is a racist sexist, remember what Alan Jones said?

Turning Right: Yeah, but it was Jones who said it, Abbott didn’t say it.

Left Turn Only: Well Abbott’s racist and did not want to appear to be a misogynist so he didn’t say it because he is a misogynist racist!

Turning Right: Does say it, doesn’t say it, he still gets called a misogynist. Can’t win can he.

Left Turn Only: He would have said it if he thought of it the sexist racist and he will never win!

Turning Right: Apart from that last election.

Left Turn Only: Now come on, what’s brought all this on then?

Turning Right: The lack of questions being asked here, it seems we we’re supposed to just accept all this or be vilified. We’re calling people racist when they’re not, we’re calling them sexist when they’re not and climate change racist? Come on now, you have to be kidding!

Left Turn Only: Never forget he is a racist! Anything we do is justified if we can stop that racist misogynist Abbott. We must make the Right suffer for what they did to us.

Turning Right: You mean beating us fair and square?

Left Turn Only: You better watch out or you’ll be for it and you’ll be so sorry!

Turning Right: I don’t care, I really don’t, it’s time to question and I’m going to question

Left Turn Only: OK, that’s it, you asked for it! You’re a racist!!

Turning Right: Not in the slightest, I’m finally awake.

Tuesday, 18 March 2014

Left vs. Right: Return Fire And Stay Protected.

Outgunned Left: All guns should be outlawed.

Gun Right: Why?

Outgunned Left: People don’t need them.

Gun Right: What if their home is invaded or they are attacked on the streets?

Outgunned Left: They can call the police.

Gun Right: And what do they do in the meantime?

Outgunned Left: Reason with the perpetrator and point out the error of their ways, they’ll respond.  Criminals aren’t unreasonable, just misunderstood. If it’s a rapist all the woman has to do is urinate on herself and it will kill the mood for the rapist and their libido will disappear. They’ll realise the women is not the one for them.

Gun Right: This isn’t a date of some sort we’re talking about here, the rapist isn’t looking for the perfect life partner, they want sex by violent means so it’s doubtful a little urine will stop them. Mind you if it does repulse them and they are armed they might just shoot their intended victim for ruining their fun. You’re proposed way of dealing with real issues is pure fantasyland fiction that would not work in reality and you know it.

Outgunned Left: We must do what it takes and ban all weapons to get rid of guns.

Gun Right: Oh yeah, it worked so well with drugs after all. All disarming the population will do is leave people defenceless and dependent which is exactly what your political masters want!

Outgunned Left: You racist!

Gun Right: You traitor.

Left vs. Right: My Responsibility, All Places, All The Time.

Parenting Right: I am shocked at all the gratuitous swearing lessons seem to have along with the general sexualisation of children.

No Morals Left: **** you ****! This is how the world is you ****so get ****!!

Parenting Right: Well I object and I disagree with your world assessment there, the world isn't all like you say it is and having a belligerent foul mouthed approach certainly won’t help the kids get a job.

No Morals Left: And what would you know?

Parenting Right: Being in the mainstream workforce, a lot more than you would. I know you have no experience at other jobs whatsoever.

No Morals Left: As if, you don’t get to be a teacher by not knowing more than everyone else! Now **** off, I’m about to teach sex education, this is important!

Parenting Right: What you've been teaching children is beyond basic sex education, it is too soon for them to know too much beyond the basics. I am so happy all teachers aren't like you so this forcing too much too soon on children is not universal.

No Morals Left: So you’re an anti-gay, anti-freedom fascist. Why aren't I surprised?

Parenting Right: Young kids do not need to know much else beyond the basics, they are not emotionally ready for too much.

No Morals Left: You just want to spoil it all for them!

Parenting Right: When they learn the truth of certain things it will be a real spoiler. You’re teaching them they can do whatever they want without concern for the consequences. Some of the practices you’re promoting can cause injuries and serious long term problems down the track.

No Morals Left: You keep your white middle class outdated morals away from me you racist!

Parenting Right: Decency isn't just a white thing, it’s universal and you’re the racist for suggesting it's a white thing only.

No Morals Left: Up yours, you have no say in this, it’s nothing to do with you so keep your nose out of it.

Parenting Right: My children are my responsibility and my business 24/7! That does not end the second they go into school. You are supposed to be working on my behalf to give my children a real education, not setting up your own little fiefdom and using the children as a captive audience to push your own agenda. 

No Morals Left: Whatever you ****! You have no say in this, who do you think you are anyway?

Parenting Right: The parent who’s telling you I have a say and that my rights as a parent override your desire to push your own agenda and I'm also a parent who won’t let their children be mistreated!

No Morals Left: You have no say in this, you have no right to interfere! We are encouraging the children to explore their sexuality and we’re helping them to do it!! Hey, where are you going?

Parenting Right: I’m getting my kids away from you then I’m going to the police. When an adult is encouraging kids to explore their sexuality it’s time for the police to be informed. The law applies as equally to you.

No Morals Left: You racist!

Parenting Right: Stay away from my children you pervert!

Monday, 17 March 2014

Left vs. Right: Predictable As Ever.

Predictable Left: We are expert debaters!

Predictably Right: You make up facts, you ignore what’s presented to you, you twist words, you try and put words into people mouths, you have double standards such as being keen to throw insults but crying victim if the insult is returned, if a thread online isn’t going your way you just delete, you suggest people who disagree with you are kids or ask their qualifications despite having none of your own, you claim facts presented to you are opinions only and you rely on catchphrases such as ‘the science is settled’ since you have no facts to present.

Predictable Left: Oh ha ha, you’re soooooo funny! Anymore?

Predictably Right: There’s stacks more but I don’t have the time, it would take way too long to go over all the nonsense you present. There is one thing I think I’ll be hearing in a few moments though.

Predictable Left: You racist!

Predictably Right: Yep, right on schedule!

Sunday, 16 March 2014

Left vs. Right: Charity Begins At Home.

Freeloading Left: We must do more for the refugees, we owe it to them!

Always Right: How do we owe it to them?

Freeloading Left: Well they have been through so much!

Always Right: But how does that oblige us to do anything for them? We have people here who are losing everything and are forced to sleep in cars or on the streets. Meanwhile charities, shelters etc. are being overwhelmed with illegal immigrants.

Freeloading Left: Oh, that’s just typical xenophobia from you racists! Stand up for Queen and country and keep the foreigners out at all costs so our people can live a life of luxury at the expense of the refugees.

Always Right: I never suggested that and you know it. I am saying though that charity begins at home.

Freeloading Left: Oh yes, charity for white people only, never mind the other races.

Always Right: Given that this country is home to other races as well and since I haven’t mentioned race it certainly isn't how you’re trying to suggest. I believe it is unfair that someone who is already in this country and often has contributed to the country is overlooked when they need help. Helping others is one thing but we certainly aren't responsible for what’s happening in those countries. Where’s all the money for all this supposed to come from anyway?

Freeloading Left: Where else, the taxpayer!

Always Right: A term that that doesn't apply to many of you lot and as usual you’re generous with other people’s money!

Freeloading Left: I pay tax, like the GST.

Always Right: You receive taxpayers money, you’re not paying the GST, the taxpayers funding your welfare are.

Freeloading Left: No, I pay taxes so it gives me the right to say how tax money should be spent, more money to help the refugees!

Always Right: How can you think it’s fair that a taxpayer who has worked hard and then fallen on hard times should be allowed to lose everything right down to their home while illegal immigrants are given homes and other items all at taxpayers expense especially when many of the people losing their homes are the ones who paid the tax money being used to begin with? The people who earned the money to begin with are being left out in the cold. Literally in many cases.

Freeloading Left: I see what you are saying here, with those taxpayers losing their homes and everything we should use taxpayers money to buy their homes really cheap and then house refugees. After all, we owe it to the refugees to help them continue their way of life, it’s certainly superior to ours!

Always Right: Superior? If it’s superior why are they fleeing from their country to begin with? And if they recreate it here all they’ll do is bring all the problems along that go with it.

Freeloading Left: It’s the country they live in that’s the problem, coming here and tasting freedom changes them, they appreciate what we give them.

Always Right: It often doesn't change them and many are bringing intolerance with them. Since nothing I say will sink in I will phrase this though in a way that you will understand, if you keep forcing taxpayers out of their jobs and homes tax receipts will plummet and there’ll be cuts to things such as welfare.

Freeloading Left: Politicians wouldn't cut welfare and people like me contribute so much! I’ve been on a lot of marches!! Anyway, I’d have thought you’d be overjoyed at welfare cuts!

Always Right: Yeah, you’re the classic ‘rent a crowd’! There are some cuts that do need to be made but if the tax base erodes people who genuinely need welfare will be hurt. You’ll definitely lose yours and don’t think your favourite politicians will help you, they’ll take care of themselves first.

Freeloading Left: No! They’d borrow more money, they can cut pensions and aged care, they could cut the tax benefits families get!! They don’t deserve them!

Always Right: They’d leave you out in the cold and you know it! You’d have to find a job and since you’re unskilled you may find a lot of competition from illegals who are often limited in the work they can get.

Freeloading Left: You racist!

Always Right: You traitor.

Saturday, 15 March 2014

Left vs. Right: They Have Culture And We Don’t?

Uncultured Left: That person from a different cultural background insulted us. He said I need to convert to his ways, he said our women friends should be covered and stay silent and our gay friends need to stop being gay or be put to death.

Always Right: Looks like you’ve encountered some genuine intolerance for the first time in your life instead of the make believe type you lot always claim to be victims of.

Uncultured Left: But he comes from a noble and wise culture that is superior to ours in every way and our diverse society needs such nobility.

Always Right: He comes from a cult that says all have to be like him. Not much of a pro diversity approach there.

Uncultured Left: It must be some sort of mistake! He must be overwhelmed by the freedom in our land. It is too much for him and being on this land has confused him.

Always Right: It’s not where he is that’s the problem, it’s how he lives. It’s an intolerant lifestyle.

Uncultured Left: You’re intolerant for not understanding his noble ways. We must do all we can to help him and others like him.

Always Right: What’s there to understand? He doesn’t like people who aren’t like him. It’s a no brainer, very easy to work it out.

Uncultured Left: You can’t talk about his culture like that! It’s his ways and we cannot question them!! We must respect them at all costs! You should be punished for daring to speak about his culture like that!!

Always Right: I could just picture you in medieval times as some sort of religious judge calling people heretics and sentencing people for blasphemy.

Uncultured Left: Your analogy is racist and you should be punished.

Always Right: I don’t believe in your doctrine but instead of calling me a heretic you call me a racist and want me punished for not believing. It’s appropriate really given your support of a medieval culture.

Uncultured Left: Culture cannot be questioned! You should not dare to do so!!

Always Right: You question ours all the time.

Uncultured Left: We don’t have a culture.

Always Right: What? So what do we have then??

Uncultured Left: It’s not a culture.

Always Right: So what is it?

Uncultured Left: It’s not a culture.

Always Right: So what do we have then?

Uncultured Left: We don’t have a culture.

Always Right: Just because you keep saying we don’t and refuse to answer my question doesn’t mean we don’t have a culture. Why is their way of life culture and cannot be questioned but ours isn’t?

Uncultured Left: It just isn’t OK? Stop going on about it! They have a sophisticated culture and we don’t. End of story and that’s all there is to it!!

Always Right: So how is them not liking others not like them, oppressing women and threatening gay people’s lives and worse a sophisticated culture and beyond any questioning? And will you convert to their ways?? Will your female friends cover up and keep quiet? Will your gay friends somehow not be gay in order to show ‘tolerance’ to this supposedly sophisticated culture??

Uncultured Left: You racist!

Always Right: You know culture isn’t a race but really it’s just your way of calling me a heretic for not believing your line.

Uncultured Left: Oh you’re so funny! At least we stand for what’s right!!

Always Right: You and your friends are standing up for a cult that is openly hostile to you and your ways and would eliminate you without a second thought. There are plenty of pictures available of the hatred they have for women, gays and those who they call non-believers. The evidence is right in front of you, what do you have to say about it?

**Crickets chirping**

Thursday, 13 March 2014

Left vs. Right: Get Your Own.

Chewed Out Left: Is that gum you are chewing?

Chewing Right: Yes.

Chewed Out Left: Did you bring enough gum for everyone here?

Chewing Right: Nope, I just have a couple more pieces for later.

Chewed Out Left: Do you think it is fair that you are chewing gum if you don’t have enough for everyone in the class?

Chewing Right: What’s the problem?

Chewed Out Left: The others here don’t have gum, you’re chewing gum. If you’re going to chew gum you should have brought enough for everybody.

Chewing Right: Since when is buying them gum my responsibility? Why don’t they bring their own if they want some??

Chewed Out Left: You are not to chew gum in class, it is bad mannered and also against the rules.

Chewing Right: Well if it’s against the rules why would you expect me to bring some for everyone?

Chewed Out Left: To help point out how unfair it is that you have gum and the rest here don’t. Thanks to you we have wasted too much time on your ill-mannered ways.

Chewing Right: It’s thanks to you. All you had to do was tell me chewing gum is against the rules and a breach of etiquette and I would have stopped right there and got rid of it, instead you chose to play these little games and that waste more time and have no real point. No one is obliged to buy other people gum. What would you hit me with in the future? ‘Is that a limousine you have?? Did you get a limousine for everyone here?’

Chewed Out Left: With an attitude like yours you will not get far in life.

Chewing Right: How dare you suggest such a thing to me! You have no right to talk to someone like that just because you’ve lost an argument. I think I have a good chance to get ahead because for one thing I don’t talk nonsense or play such stupid games. I don’t spout irrelevant nonsense to say something that can be said with just a few words! If I can’t chew gum here just tell me!! The way you were carrying on was as if I intentionally flouted the rules and was rude to you after being politely asked to stop which was certainly not the case! Then you have the nerve to blame me for wasting time!! You are the one who decided to play little games, not me! You are the one at fault here!!

Chewed Out Left: You racist!

Wednesday, 12 March 2014

Left vs. Right: The Lefts View And Reality.

The Leftist View:

Noble Caring Socialist Person (whose race or gender is not an issue here etc. etc): Now that my  devastating rhetoric has defeated you for all time you will now admit our ways are superior and you will pay more taxes so we can do what we have to do for the good of everyone. You know you cannot protest our plans and you think it’s right that you go to jail if you disagree with us.

Horrible Uncaring Conservative (who is obviously a white male etc. etc.): Take all of my money! I will also borrow more for you and work hard to pay it back!! I see that left wing parties should have more money for things like saving the world and financing their friends green companies! Those worthwhile left wing programs like that need more money!! I now realise that welfare really is a career choice and it will help the friends of the left find themselves and be better people contributing to society with their protests and campaigns for even more free contraception! We should also give everything to the noble leaders of the third world whose people have been repressed by the Western world, we must free them so they can finish the socialist paradises they have already started to build. I promise you there will be more money!!


The Real Left: You racist! I should have more money so I can buy some video games so I’ll have something to do with friends between protests against capitalism!! My welfare won’t cover it! The world owes me!!

Always Right: Get a job you shiftless parasite and stop leeching off society, nobody owes you a thing!

Tuesday, 11 March 2014

Left vs. Right: How The Left Try And Make It Out To Be.

Noble Caring Socialist Person (whose race or gender is not an issue here as we are all equal but if this person is a white male he is fully aware of his inherent destructive qualities that all white males obviously have although he is obviously tolerable as he is on our side and fully supports the goal of taking the wealth from greedy people with money and sending it overseas to help our third world brothers and sisters in their socialist paradises which we would all like to live in but just don’t get around to going to): You racist!

Horrible Uncaring Conservative (who is obviously a white male, no more need be said about that!): Oh, you win the debate with your cutting words, you get to the heart of the point with your indisputable facts. The science is settled and I am truly defeated!! I will never rise up to challenge you again!


Left vs. Right: It’s The Opportunity.

Feminazi Left: Companies should be forced to make 50% of board members women.

Equal Rights: Why?

Feminazi Left: For equal rights, there must be equal opportunity so 50% of boards should be women.

Equal rights: Equal rights and opportunity does not mean equal numbers.

Feminazi Left: You racist! Umm, hang on, you sexist!!

Equal Rights: The numbers of men and women in the workforce is disproportionate anyway.

Feminazi Left: Yeah, because you conservatives want women to stay at home to raise children!

Equal Rights: We just want that to be an option for parents. You lot on the other hand want to force women into the workforce, your economic mismanagement means that many no longer have a choice.

Feminazi Left: Well you conservatives want everyone to work, you say they have to.

Equal Rights: Way to twist my words there. For many of us we’re about able bodied people providing for themselves and not having welfare as a career choice, you’re about forcing women to work so you can play gender games. You want the block numbers in place for whatever statistics you want to make up.

Feminazi Left: Well we need women workers, it’s what we’re fighting for. It’s what feminists having been fighting for right from the start.

Equal Rights: No, they were fighting for equal rights and equal opportunities and that’s what we fight for as well. Here’s a newsflash for you, many women want to stay home and raise their children, the fight was for choice and guess what, many took that choice! A lot of the fight was for choice and it looks like many made the choice you didn't like!!

Feminazi Left: Well why can’t the dad’s stay at home?

Equal Rights: If that’s what the family wants to do then that’s for them to decide.

Feminazi Left: Oh, umm well we also need to remove the obviously sexist barriers to certain male dominated professions, like firefighting!

Equal Rights: What sexist barriers?

Feminazi Left: Well the requirements for fitness and all that, it bars women.

Equal Rights: It bars a lot of people, it’s not specifically aimed at women, it’s just you need a certain level of strength and fitness etc. to be a firefighter. The same you need a certain level of intelligence to be a doctor. It’s what’s needed to do such jobs, it isn't aimed at anyone’s genders. If you drop requirements you drop standards and it could cost lives.

Feminazi Left: Well we should employ more of them, gender equality is what’s important here.

Equal Rights: Disasters don’t somehow make allowances in the name of gender equality or any form of equality. You can’t send two or more people up a ladder to rescue someone from a burning building. Like I said, equality is about equal rights and opportunity, not equal numbers.

Feminazi Left: Oh, so we just leave it to the employers who will always employ men because they are sexist!

Equal Rights: So female employers will also just employ men as well? We’re not talking about not keeping a reasonable eye on things but the reality is some areas will favour men and some will favour women. So long as no one is excluded due to gender you will have real equality.

Feminazi Left: You racist!

Sunday, 9 March 2014

Left vs. Right: You’re Hatred Is Obvious And Your Tactics Are Pathetic.

Anti-Semitic Left: Israel is an apartheid state!

Right As Always: Oh? Black people are restricted within the country?

Anti-Semitic Left: No, they can move about the country freely.

Right As Always: So is it Israeli Arabs who are restricted within the country?

Anti-Semitic Left: No, they can move about the country freely as well.

Right As Always: Are some Israeli citizens restricted in what jobs they can hold or how far they can advance in certain professions?

Anti-Semitic Left: No, everyone can get ahead on their own merits.

Right As Always: Don’t tell me they don’t allow bacon!

Anti-Semitic Left: They have bacon in some shops

Right As Always: What about restrictions on religion? Any there?

Anti-Semitic Left: No.

Right As Always: So what’s the deal? Separate facilities for some citizens? Separate hospitals?? Separate schools?

Anti-Semitic Left: No, they don’t have that.

Right As Always: So really all Israeli citizens have free movement within Israel so where’s this apartheid then?

Anti-Semitic Left: In the Palestinian territories!

Right As Always: So refer your complaint to the Palestinian Authority because any apartheid there is nothing to do with Israel.

Anti-Semitic Left: Israel won’t allow free movement of people from the territories into Israel.

Right As Always: That’s not apartheid, that’s common sense border protection especially given the attacks on Israel from the territories.

Anti-Semitic Left: Well Israel shouldn’t be there!

Right As Always: But it is, that’s the reality of the situation.

Anti-Semitic Left: Well we boycott Israeli goods. If it has Israel’s hand in it we won’t use it!

Right As Always: You’ll find you have been using Israeli products, a lot of everyday items we rely on have Israel’s hand in it.

Anti-Semitic Left: Well we boycott Israeli shops! If someone tries to go in we’ll sort them out!!

Right As Always: We remember when you lot tried that in Brisbane, the word fail is a major understatement for it! You might be pulling these stunts elsewhere but you lot haven’t been seen in the open in Brisbane since 2011.

Anti-Semitic Left: We still carry out our campaigns!

Right As Always: Yeah, in other places you rely on bullying tactics and violence, in Brisbane you now sneak around out of sight now and do cowardly hit and runs on shops. If people in other places make a stand against you lot you lot will disappear from sight there as well.

Anti-Semitic Left: Our protest was a success!

Right As Always: We stood up to you and you lot slunk away with your tails between your legs. You failed! People were even laughing at your slogans!! You’re all so brave when you think it’s a soft target and gutless when confronted. Your protests are pathetic and since you lot can be violent when you have strength of numbers I’d say they are criminal as well.

Anti-Semitic Left: We aren’t violent!

Right As Always: What about the reports of attacks on innocent shoppers going into the places you target?

Anti-Semitic Left: All justified! Israel is an apartheid state oppressing Palestinians!!

Right As Always: There are many Palestinians in Israel and they have the same rights as everyone else.

Anti-Semitic Left: Well the UN doesn’t think so and keeps passing resolutions against Israel.

Right As Always: The UN is an UNelected, UNdemocratic and UNtrustworthy disgrace to the world run by openly anti-Semitic dictators. 

Anti-Semitic Left: Israel is oppressing the Palestinians! Did you know they attacked some places where attacks on Israel were being planned? That’s illegal!!

Right As Always: Preventing an attack on their country is illegal?

Anti-Semitic Left: Yes! It’s an unprovoked act of aggression!!

Right As Always: Plotting an attack is an act of aggression and Israel is within its rights to prevent it. They don’t have to sit back and let themselves be attacked and let their people be killed. Your double standards against Israel are blatantly obvious! All these attacks on Israel fail and they don’t help the Palestinians!! If the attacks on Israel stopped then the Palestinian situation could be properly addressed.

Anti-Semitic Left: Israel is an apartheid state!

Right As Always: I am so sick of how you lot misuse words! There is no apartheid in Israel. For example in an Israeli hospital you will often see Arabs, Jews and Palestinian’s in beds next to each other. And that’s something you won’t see that in some of the countries around Israel! Your claims of apartheid are an insult to the genuine victims of apartheid.

Anti-Semitic Left: Israel stole land from the surrounding countries!

Right As Always: Legitimate spoils of war, especially as the other countries have always been the aggressors. You lot couldn’t make your anti-Semitism more obvious!

Anti-Semitic Left: We are not anti-Semitic! We are pro-Palestinian rights, Israel mistreats Palestinians and those who mistreat Palestinians must be made to pay for their crimes.

Right As Always: So the other countries around Israel who do little if anything to help the Palestinian’s will be targeted as well? There are cases of those other countries keeping Palestinians restricted to camps, some Palestinian neighbourhoods are regularly attacked and Palestinians are often refused medical treatment and have to go to Israel where they do get treated. Will you be launching any campaigns against those other countries as well?

**Crickets chirping**


Thursday, 6 March 2014

Left vs. Right: The Thread Unravels But The Message Remains.

Left Out Online: I just saw that article you posted about the election, it’s terrible.

Right Online: What’s up with it?

Left Out Online: You wrote about your contribution but you didn’t do much. What about the people running the polling booths? What about the people counting the votes? You should have done your article about them

Right Online: The article we needed was from a perspective of what anyone can do to participate in the electoral process beyond voting. I haven’t got the time to count or scrutineer etc. and a lot of other people haven’t but they might be able to spare some time to help a candidate out while the polls are open.

Left Out Online: But those others should be mentioned, you should have mentioned them!

Right Online: I had no dealings with them and we know a lot of people take part but there are space limitations and we wanted to show a basic way of participating to get more people involved. If I mention all that other stuff there’s no space for my own observations and I’d only be telling people what anyone could tell them.

Left Out Online: They should have been mentioned! You should have done it!!

Right Online: If you want such an article then write it yourself. Tell you what though, we’d be happy to post such an article on our page as well.

Left Out Online: You should have done it!

Right Online: I’ve already explained why we haven’t and offered you the opportunity to do it, if you feel so passionately about this we’re sure you’d do a good article.

Left Out Online: What about the picture with your article with your mate standing outside the polling booth? He would have scared people off standing like that!

Right Online: Not very likely and he only stood that way for the picture and then returned to the business at hand.

Left Out Online: Attention page admin! This person is being abusive to me!!

Right Online: Translation, your attempts to make me look bad have failed so you’re crying to the page admin. You started this thread and it’s backfired on you. Anyone reading this thread can see that.

Left Out Online: Shut up you! I’ll show you!!

**And with that Left Out Online deleted the comment he had posted which in turn deleted the entire conversation. But even though the thread was gone you could almost hear Left Out Online grinding his teeth and crying racist at his modem**


Left vs. Right: Which Is Your Fight?

Irresponsibly Left: We’re standing up to you white racist conservative men and women with your old fashioned values and oppression of minorities!

Old Fashioned and Right: What’s wrong with old fashioned values?

Irresponsibly Left: Well they get in the way of people doing whatever they want when they want. We’re supposed to have to worry about others and stuff? That’s crap! Old fashioned is outdated and that makes them bad.

Old Fashioned and Right: If they are good values then old fashioned or not they are worth keeping. Especially when it comes to realising you can’t just do whatever you want and that you have to be responsible for your own actions. And minorities? We’re trying to use that label less and less because it labels them as separate from the rest of us. They’re people.

Irresponsibly Left: Well yes, but they need our help to get ahead. Labelling them as minorities all the time lets them know they need us to get ahead.

Old Fashioned and Right: But they don’t get ahead. They stay stuck where they are and either go nowhere or backwards. You lot are holding them back on purpose.

Irresponsibly Left: No, they need our help so why would we hold them back? We’re all for minorities and other extremely oppressed groups like Muslims, gays, lesbians, transgenders etc.

Old Fashioned and Right: You want them to think they can’t get ahead without you so you can control them and keep them dependent on you.

Irresponsibly Left: That’s not true! You racist!!

Old Fashioned and Right: I say it is. Thankfully not all the people in these groups you target buy into your lies but those that do get nowhere. And you don’t worry about the bigger picture either! What happens when a member of one of the groups you champion as oppressed and needing help discriminates against the member of another such group?

Irresponsibly Left: That would never happen.

Old Fashioned and Right: It did when a Muslim barber refused to give a haircut to a lesbian. What will you say against that situation, whose cause will you champion?

Irresponsibly Left: Ummmm, well that's old news!

Old Fashioned and Right: Not so old, recent enough to comment on and ask you exactly whose cause will you champion. Got an answer? 

**Crickets chirping**


Tuesday, 4 March 2014

Left vs. Right: Let’s Twist Again!

Twisted Left: You lot are racist idiots!

Totally Right: Oh surprise, an insult. That really makes people want to talk to you. OK, I’m curious as to what you’ve made up, what’s supposedly wrong this time?

Twisted Left: It’s the stance you racists have on taxation!

Totally Right: What race is taxation?

Twisted Left: Why do you always bring race into things?

Totally Right: I don’t, you do. You called me racist due to my stance on taxation.

Twisted Left: I did no such thing.

Totally Right: You called me a racist idiot, you brought race into it.

Twisted Left: Well apparently I called you an idiot as well, why aren’t you protesting that?

Totally Right: It makes a change from the other stupid things you call me, that's what actually made me curious about what you're babbling on about.

Twisted Left: Racist! Anyway my problem with you is that you want to abolish all taxes and that’s stupid!! How would we build the things we need and run the economy? Tell me that!

Totally Right: With taxes of course, we have no problem with fair taxation, we’re just sick of paying taxes to finance the agendas of politicians and to supply their friends and family with high paying jobs.

Twisted Left: You racist! Tax money goes to saving the environment and to helping third world countries!!

Totally Right: The money goes into the pockets of politicians friends who run the companies that feed off the green environmental scam, the aid money often goes into the pockets of the third world dictators who are making their countries hell and it goes to buying politicians jobs for when they are voted out. It’s about time our country got the benefit of our tax dollars.

Twisted Left: You racist! You said you don’t believe in taxation!!

Totally Right: No, you said I don’t and I explained my position.

Twisted Left: You’re just changing your story because you’ve been caught out!

Totally Right: No, you’re trying to twist my words because you know you have no real counter to anything I have said.

Twisted Left: And you don’t want government either, you lot are anarchists! If there was no government everything would be chaos you racist!!

Totally Right: Interesting debating tactics you have. You tell me what I apparently think and you just happen to have the appropriate response. I’d hate to play chess with you.

Twisted Left: Because you know I’d win!

Totally Right: No, because you’d try and play both sides.

Twisted Left: Well just as I know what you’re going to say I could probably guess what chess moves you’d make!

Totally Right: You don’t know what someone is going to say until they actually say it so here’s a tip, keep your mouth shut until the other party has finished speaking. That way you’ll have no doubts as to what they have said and you can hold them to account for it. Of course since all you do is debate with tactics instead of facts it’s obvious you’ll just keep interrupting and trying to put words into people’s mouths.

Twisted Left: I know you’ll just say no taxes and no government, it’s obvious!

Totally Right: The only obvious thing is the tactics you’ll use. You’ll try and put words into other people’s mouths and have a ready-made response to what are really your own words. You’ll ignore what is said to you and continue to respond to the comments and perspectives you’ve actually made up. You know you’re wrong but you just don’t want to actually admit it.

Twisted Left: You racist!

Totally Right: I had an idea you’d say that, it’s how you admit defeat after all.

Twisted Left: Oh, so you know what I’m going to say do you? I can’t know what you’ll say but you know what I’ll say, how convenient!

Totally Right: I said I had an idea you would say that and also note I let you say it first before I said anything about it. You comment on what you want me to say, I comment on what you actually do say.


Monday, 3 March 2014

Left vs. Right: The Climate Is Alright

Leftist Loudmouth: You racist!

Totally Right: You traitor! And on top of that you’re heartless, evil violent hypocrites.

Leftist Loudmouth: Oh that’s rich coming from gun owners!

Totally Right: Oh yes, the most violent places on Earth are where gun owners are such as shooting ranges, the targets that are used are never the same are they? Mind you where the gun owners are there is no need of these ’rape free zones’ that are set up when you traitors congregate and complain about the very state that pays your welfare. In other words gun owners, not violent despite what you claim!

Leftist Loudmouth: Well what about that rodeo clown dressed as Obama and the nasty signs about Gillard?

Totally Right: So what about the rodeo clown, that’s not gun violence. And where were you lot when there was a rodeo clown dressed as Bush? And the left were silent when an effigy of Abbott was decapitated, imagine the uproar if it was an effigy of Rudd or Gillard being depicted!

Leftist Loudmouth: Umm, well what about Tea Party rallies? Some of the people a Christians and might pray in public, that’s offensive!

Totally Right: So when Muslims have taken over streets in places like New York and Lakemba you’ve been offended and spoken out about it?

Leftist Loudmouth: Umm, well what about the disrespectful way you talk about Obama at Tea Party rallies?

Totally Right: We point out what he’s doing to America and again, we don’t need to have ‘no rape zones’. And it’s not because of our guns either, we respect women. Also we don’t leave a major mess behind which means we are more environmentally friendly than you lot are.

Leftist Loudmouth: You lot deny climate change and are like Nazis wanting to kill people. Denying climate change is like racism!

Totally Right: We know the climate changes, we just don’t believe your fake take on it. And just to let you know, the climate is not a race.

Leftist Loudmouth: Climate deniers should be prosecuted for not believing, scientists have said it’s real, they can’t be questioned.

Totally Right: Yeah, if we question them it’ll all come apart because the answers will be obvious lies and will further demonstrate it’s all a scam.

Leftist Loudmouth: You say you believe in a form of climate change, you didn’t say that a few years back and all of a sudden you now have a ready-made ‘oh you now believe but all of us who were on board from the beginning are wrong’ angle on it. Talk about changing your answer when caught out!

Totally Right: Well you changed the name of the scam. When you called it global warming we pointed out that the Earth has been warming and cooling throughout history. When you realised the Earth isn’t warming and you changed the name to climate change we modified our answer to cover the change and counter your current pack of lies.

Leftist Loudmouth: I’d have you deniers locked up for that!

Totally Right: Yeah, freedom of speech and the truth is a threat to you and your lies. You have no regard for people, absolute hypocrisy, if it wasn’t for your double standards you wouldn’t have any.

Leftist Loudmouth: We care for life! That’s why we do what we do like when we held a vigil for the asylum seeker killed at the Abbott's inhumane camps!

Totally Right: You have no regard for life. What about the 1000+ illegal immigrants who drowned after the ALP dropped the border controls? Not a peep out of you is there?? But once the ALP is no longer in government and a person dies in the camps that the ALP themselves setup all of a sudden it’s an opportunity for you to twist things around so you can have a go at the current government! You turned someone’s death into a political statement in an attempt to further your lies.

Leftist Loudmouth: Whatever we do is justified to stop you racist, misogynist climate deniers.

Totally Right: Lies and violence are justified to stop us? And you want to stop us because you’re making sure you fool yourself into believing the lies you made up about us??

Leftist Loudmouth: We have to get our way! Anything we do is OK to get what we want!!

Totally Right: Yours is a way based on lies and violence and is not in this country’s best interests. You are a traitor.

Leftist Loudmouth: And you’re a climate denier!

Totally Right: Yep, it means I haven’t fallen for you carbon dioxide scam.

Leftist Loudmouth: You racist!