Facts speak louder than statistics

Thursday, 6 February 2014

Left vs. Right: In Control?

Leftist: We need gun control in this country

Conservative: I absolutely agree, teach people to control their guns accurately and safely and there should be few if any problems

Leftist: Hey! You know what I mean, don’t twist my words around and misrepresent what I have said!! What do you think you’re playing at?

Conservative: That’s called payback, you often pull the same stunt on me.

Leftist: Oh, and when have I ever done that.

**Space does not permit us to show you the list the conservative is showing the leftist.**

Leftist: Ummmmmm, you must have misunderstood what I meant

Conservative: (Sarcastically) Yeah, that must be it. Especially the part where you called me a racist when I told you about that Nigerian money scam email I got.

Leftist: Well they’re black, you can’t say all black people are criminals, that’s racist.

Conservative: And right there’s another example of how you twist words around.

Leftist: Well you said it! You did!!

Conservative: I said I got an email from a criminal in Nigeria.

Leftist: See, you said all black people are criminals.

Conservative: I said a criminal, singular.

Leftist: And now you want to get a gun and shoot him because he’s black!

Conservative: What?

Leftist: Well you were going to say it!

Conservative: No I wasn’t, there’s no suggestion I was going to say such a thing.

Leftist: I know you too well, you were going to say that! Admit it and don’t try and wiggle out of it!!

Conservative: Here’s a useful trick for finding out what I’m going to say, keep your mouth shut until I’ve finished speaking, that way you will hear what I have to say about something and if I haven’t mentioned what you want to know you can ask when I have finished speaking.

Leftist: Ha, now you’re trying to shut me up.

Conservative: Only long enough so I can finish what I am saying. I don’t care how well you think you know someone, you never really know what they are going to say but I’m about to take a guess at what you will say shortly. I don’t even try and claim you’re about to cry racist on something so how about you simply let me finish speaking before you mouth off.

Leftist: (Screaming loudly) You’re trying to silence me, admit it!

Conservative: I refer you to my comment advising you about a useful trick.

Leftist: You racist!

Conservative: A conversation without you saying that just wouldn’t be the same!

Leftist: We were talking about guns, stop changing the subject and trying to put words into my mouth.

Conservative: Practice what you preach!

Leftist: You racist! We must disarm the population!! It will save lives!

Conservative: How?

Leftist: By passing laws and anyone who does not comply must be severely punished!

Conservative: Sorry, I didn’t frame my question properly, I mean how will disarming people save lives.

Leftist: You didn’t say that before!

Conservative: I know, when you gave your answer I realised I did not frame my question properly so again, how will it save lives?

Leftist: Stop trying to put words into my mouth! Why don’t you admit you didn’t ask me properly instead of making all this fuss about me not giving the answer you wanted to hear?

Conservative: I did admit it, I said I didn’t frame my question properly and then clarified what the question actually was.

Leftist: You racist! You want to shoot black people, that’s why you want guns!!

Conservative: I just want to know how disarming law abiding citizens will prevent gun crimes.

Leftist: You didn’t say that before!

Conservative: That’s why I’m clarifying what I’m actually asking so there’ll be no mistakes.

Leftist: You want to shoot black people, admit it. Come on, why don’t you use the predictable conservative line of ‘some of my best friends are black people’ in your attempt to wiggle out of admitting you’re really racist.

Conservative: Well I guessed you were expecting that kind of response from the way you were saying things but I don’t need to say it in order to prove I’m not racist because nothing I’ve said suggests that I am.

Leftist: But you want to disarm black people so they can’t fight back if someone comes at them with a gun.

Conservative: Actually that’s what you want but you actually put my perspective forward, specifically the part about being disarmed and unable to fight back if attacked.

Leftist: But you believe……..

Conservative: (actually interrupting) No, just ask my opinion, don’t try and tell me what I think. That way I will tell you and you won’t be able to say I’m wiggling out of anything. Although I’ll tell you now if you did guess what I was going to say correctly and you disapproved of it I would not change it. Your disapproval is not a great concern to me. Anyway, back to the subject, if you disarm law abiding citizen’s only criminals will have guns.

Leftist: But we will pass laws and have gun free zones!

Conservative: Criminals don’t obey the law, which part of that don’t you understand? They won’t care if a sign says gun free zone either, remember, they are criminals!

Leftist: You racist!

Conservative: Not surprised you said that.

Leftist: No! You’re supposed to ask what race is a gun is.

Conservative: Guns come by brands and makes, not race.

Leftist: Well you’re supposed to ask what race criminal is!

Conservative: I’ll just say that the only thing criminal here is how you expect me to believe the nonsense you spout!

Leftist: You racist!

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