Facts speak louder than statistics

Thursday, 16 January 2014

Left vs. Right: It's Payday!

Lefty: I had to go to the welfare office today, I hate having to go there! I've got better things to do!! I wanted to play video games and then hang out with my friends and discuss our next protest against capitalism.

Conservative: Why did you have to go in?

Lefty: They didn’t give me my pay!

Conservative: So you work for the welfare office then? I bet you’d love that job, the giving out of taxpayer’s money but at least you have a job.

Lefty: What are you talking about, I don’t have a job, I’m unemployed!

Conservative: Then what are you talking about.

Lefty: My pay didn’t go through.

Conservative: You said you are unemployed, were you casual at the welfare office?

Lefty: No, I was well behaved and straight to the point.

Conservative: I mean I thought you may have had a casual job.

Lefty: Yeah, I’ve heard of there are jobs like that! If I ever have to work I want a job like that where I can wear my old T-shirts and have long hair.

Conservative: That’s not what I mean. Have you ever had a job?

Lefty: No way! That’d get in the way of playing video games and protesting against capitalism!!

Conservative: Then why are you saying your pay didn’t go through?

Lefty: Because the welfare office was late with my benefits.

Conservative: That’s not ‘pay’ OK?! Pay is something you have to earn! You’re on benefits and that’s not supposed to be a lifestyle choice. You’re receiving benefits, don’t get ‘pay’ because you didn’t actually earn the money.

Lefty: Didn’t earn it? Do you know how much work it is protesting capitalism?

Conservative: What work? You just get a bunch of your unemployed friends who you see at the welfare office and go somewhere and chant a few stupid slogans before leaving. You look scruffy so you know no one will take you seriously and you don’t want to be taken seriously! You don’t want to smash capitalism because if you did there’d be no one to pay for your welfare!!

Lefty: You racist!

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